Parenting lessons learned along the way

Contrary to appearances, I really haven't strayed too far from my original goal of writing on a regular basis.
True, I haven't had a post since the beginning of the month, but that doesn't mean the mind is empty or the motivation is lacking. It's just that sometimes, you go through a spell where you get so caught up in the daily grind, thoughts lose traction and the wheels just spin.
In the meantime, perhaps with the hope of attaching purpose to the day, I started to keep track of the many parenting lessons that reveal themselves at a random interval in the life of a child.
If it seems as though a lot of the entries are related to laundry ... well ... welcome to my world.

• Dirty laundry multiplies at twice the rate of clean laundry if you have two children — any more offspring and the accumulation rate ratchets up exponentially.
• Do not ever believe a child's promise to take care of an animal.
• The moment you finish cleaning the kitchen, a hungry child will appear and beg for a meal or snack.
• To a child, it is completely fair for a mother or father to tend to the needs of all and pick up after everyone, but wholly unfair for a child's scope of responsibility to extend beyond him or herself.
• Your children will surprise and disappoint you, bewilder and confound you, make you laugh and cry, but, overall, they will rise to and often exceed expectations.
• Until children are about 10 or 11 years old, parenting is mostly physical. After that, let the games begin.
• It is the rare child who plans ahead and makes a pre-emptive laundry strike. Most prefer to wait until the last possible minute, then retrieve a dirty piece of clothing that has been percolating in the stench at the bottom of the hamper and insist that all life will cease if the item is not washed, dried and ready for school in 7 minutes.
• If you give a child an excuse, he/she will use it. Likewise, given the opportunity, a child can rationalize or justify any behavior.
• Children need rules, limits and consequences, but typically do not want them.
• Babies and toddlers possess an innate instinct that sets off an alarm the moment you dare to take time for yourself, and then they realize that they need you instantly.
• Every child, regardless of ingredients, is different.
• Children of even the most loving, supportive and smart parents will screw up.
• From the moment you learn you are pregnant, you will worry about your child forever.
• Given the option, most children would prefer to live among piles of clean laundry rather than put clothes away.
• Sack lunches made with loving care will be left at home despite umpteen reminders to place them in backpacks.
• When you ask a child to produce an item such as a coat and he/she says it's in the bedroom, that often means the item is lost.
• The declaration of no homework on Friday afternoon will be replaced with panic about a forgotten assignment by Monday morning breakfast.
• No matter how bad the test grade, there are always others in the class who did worse, which many children think should soften the blow of the bad grade and put it in a better light.
• Some children, when threatened to put away laundry dammit, will put clean, folded clothes in the hamper and send them through the wash again.

Life, one deep breath at a time

Near the end of a yoga class last week, as we pressed our bodies up into Pigeon pose, the right knee bent and the left leg stretched out long behind us, one of my students declared: "Doing Pigeon is like eating candy."
We all laughed, taking delight in the analogy and enjoying the deep stretch of the hip. We knew exactly what she meant.
That is how good Pigeon feels at the end of a yoga class, when the muscles are warm and loose, the hard work is done and the mind is finally freed of all clutter.
The comment also led me to think of the transformation taking place every day, several times a day, when I teach yoga.
People of all ages, shapes, levels of fitness, and walks of life — they wander into the studio, shedding winter clothes and the myriad details of their day. For 45 minutes they turn off the busy thoughts and turn their focus inward to body and breath.
At least, that is the intention.
Every day, all day, our minds are racing to the task at hand or any number of burdens demanding resolution. Sure, a good workout helps to cope with the chaos. The physical effort mixed with the escape does wonders for both body and mind.
But, the good time ends. Re-entry into reality — like coming home to South Dakota from a January vacation in Mexico — can be brutal and shocking.
The peaceful bliss can disintegrate in the amount of time it takes to go from one side of the door to the other.
Yoga, on the other hand, smooths out the edges and instills a more lasting calm. I'm not completely certain why and I haven't conducted scientific research to back up my claim, but I think it's because yoga forces us to shut everything out, even if it is for only 45 minutes.
Unlike a run or a swim or a bike ride, when we are constantly feeding on the incoming stimuli of the world around us, yoga is fully and completely about us and all that is within. We breathe. We stretch. We align the body.
In the time span of one class, nothing else matters. There is no judgment — no fast or slow, no good or bad, no extra pounds, no ugly body parts, no unpaid bills, no complicated relationships, nothing to cook for dinner, no laundry to put away.
Perhaps the best part is in the last five minutes of class, when we lay down on our mats, the lights out, we close our eyes, listen to the music and think solely about each breath as it comes in and out of the body.
Each breath only here for a moment and then replaced by another new breath. It is hypnotic, spellbinding and almost a little mind boggling. How often do we actually stop and pay attention to the one thing — the breath — that gives us life; the one thing that allows us to do all that we do? Never.
Oddly, it takes time and practice to slow down to a pace of such nothingness, when the breaths flow in and out as if they were waves lapping at the shoreline.
But, once we ease into the comfort of being alone, quiet and content within ourselves, the feeling never completely leaves us. And, returning to that place becomes increasingly natural and constant.
People tell me I'm crazy to teach 10 yoga classes every week. Honestly, I think they're crazy not to.